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How do you make a blonde laugh on Friday? How did the blonde break her arm while she was raking leaves? What do blondes and beer bottles have in common? What do you call a bunch of blondes standing in a row? If a blonde and a brunette fell out of an airplane, who would land first? How do you drown a blonde? Why does a blonde only change her baby's diapers once a month? How do you make a blonde's eyes light up? Why do blondes wear shoulder pads? How do you kill a blonde? What do you call a brunette with a blonde on either side? What would a blonde say if you blew in her ear? Why do blondes have more fun? How can you tell if a blonde has used your computer? What's the difference between a blonde and a computer? Why did the blonde climb over the glass wall? How did the blonde try to kill the bird? How does a blonde do a High-Five? Why do blondes wear their hair up? What do you call a bunch of blondes in a circle? What do you do if a blonde throws a grenade at you? Why do blondes always die before help arrives? Why don't blondes eat pickles? Why don't blondes like to make Kool-Aid? Why did the blonde put T.G.I.F. on her shoes? Why do blondes wash their hair in the kitchen sink? What's the advantage of being married to a blonde? Why dont blondes get coffee breaks? What do you call a zit on a blonde's backside? What did the blonde call her zebra? What do an intelligent blonde and a UFO have in common. Why do blondes hate the G.E.D.? How many blonde jokes are there? What does a blonde who has dyed her hair brown have? How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? What do you call a bunch of blondes in a freezer? How do you get a blonde to climb up on the roof? What do you call a blonde with half a brain? What's a blonde's favorite T-shirt slogan? What's the definition of gross ignorance? Why did the blonde freeze in the winter? Why can't blondes be pharmacists? How do you measure a blonde's I.Q.? How do you change a blonde's mind? What did the blonde yell when she saw the car accident? What goes vroom-screech, vroom-screech? What's a blonde doing when she grasps at thin air? What would you call a bunch of blondes stacked on top of each other? What do you call an intelligent blonde? Why do blondes wear a ponytail? How can you tell if a blonde writes mysteries? How do you keep a blonde busy? How many blondes does it take to make chocolate chip cookies? Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M factory? What is the only job a blonde can do in an M&M factory? Why would a blonde wear green lipstick? What do blondes and cow pies have in common? What is the mating call of a blonde? What is the mating call of an ugly blonde? What is the mating call of a brunette? Why do blondes always fail driver's tests? What would a blonde say if her doctor told her that she was pregnant? What did the blonde's mom say before her daughter went out on a date? What does a blonde use for birth control? How does a blonde like her eggs? What are the first two things that a blonde does in the morning? One day, a blonde was driving to California. On the way, she saw a sign that said, Clean Restrooms Ahead. By the time she finally reached the coast, she had scrubbed and polished 68 of them. Two blondes were walking in the woods when they came upon some tracks. The first blonde said, You know, those look like deer tracks. The other blonde said, No, silly, those are moose tracks. They were still arguing about it when a train hit them. A blonde woman was very proud of herself for finishing her jigsaw puzzle in only two months; after all, the box said 2-5 years. One day, two blondes were driving to Disneyland. As they passed through Anaheim, they saw a sign on the freeway that said, Disneyland Left. So they turned around and went home. A dumb blonde, a smart blonde, and Santa Claus were all walking down the street. All of a sudden, they saw a $10 bill lying on the ground. Luckily for the dumb blonde, she was able to get to the money first, her friends didn't exist. Blondes are too biased. It's always, Buy us this, buy us that! I once knew a suicide blonde, she dyed by her own hands. A blonde went into a pizza parlor. When she said that she'd like a medium pizza, the clerk asked her how many pieces she'd like to have it cut into: six or twelve. Oh, goodness, six please, said the blonde. I don't think I could ever eat twelve. One day, a blonde and her friend were walking through the park. Suddenly, the blonde's friend said, Oh, look, a dead birdie. The blonde looked up and said, Where? On a hot summer day, an angry blonde woman was brought into the hospital with severe burns on her mouth and lips. When the doctors asked her what had happened, she said that she had caught her boyfriend with another woman, so she had tried to retaliate by blowing his car up Once upon a time, there was a blonde who had six young boys, all of named Jimmy. One day the blonde's grandma came over and asked why are all of these boys 'Jimmy'? The blonde said, So I can keep track of 'em. The aunt gave her a wild look. So you can keep track of 'em? How the heck can you do that when they're all named 'Jimmy'? The blonde looked at her aunt, shrugged and said, No problem, I just call them by their last names. A blonde wanted to go ice fishing; so, after reading many books on the subject and gathering all of the necessary equipment, she made for the nearest frozen lake. After positioning her comfy foot stool, she started to make a circular cut in the ice. Suddenly, as if from the sky, a voice boomed out, HEY, YOU, THERE ARE NO FISH THERE! Startled, the blonde moved further down the ice, poured a cup of cappuccino from her Thermos, and began to cut another hole. Again, a voice boomed, THERE ARE NO FISH THERE! The blonde, now worried, moved to the opposite end of the ice, set up her stool, and once again tried to cut the ice hole. Once more, the voice said, THERE ARE NO FISH THERE! The blonde stopped, looked skyward, and said, Who are you, God? The voice replied, NO, YOU DUMB BLONDE, I OWN THE @$#&! ICE RINK! Three blondes are attempting to change a light bulb. Then, one of O: Is the power in the house turned on? Three women, a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead, were stranded on an island. The brunette looked over the water to the mainland and estimated the distance to be about twenty miles. So, she announced that she was going to try and swim back. After swimming five miles or so, the brunette began to get tired. However, determined to keep at it, she kept going. Unfortunately, ten miles out, she became exhausted and drowned. The redhead, who was stronger than the brunette had been, decided to give it a try. After getting out about ten miles or so, she too began to get tired. Just like the brunette, she was determined to keep going; only five miles from the mainland, she too became exhausted and drowned. Now, the blonde had always been the strongest of the three. And so, after seeing how far the redhead had gotten, she knew that she had a good chance of making it. The blonde swam away from the island, and was making good time. She passed ten miles easily; however, when she reached fifteen, she began to get tired, too. But she kept going. Finally, after reaching nineteen miles, with the mainland only a mile away and in sight, the blonde realized that she was simply too tired to go on. So she swam back . What did the blonde say when she saw the Cheerios? What's black and blue and brown and lying in a ditch? How do you confuse a blonde? How does a blonde confuse you?
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